Anxiousness is what I feel when I think about my future.

Anxiousness is what I feel when I think about my future.

This is one of my happy days. I don’t feel bad, for the most part. Just feeling anxious for being an adult now. Now I have to care about money, responsibilities, bills to pay, getting income, etc. It feels so confusing to have that much stuff to solve. I’m doing gigs for my own parents and even then, they barely want to pay me. I can’t get a normal job because of my Asperger’s, so that puts me on a bad spot. My mother doesn’t want me to get a job either, so I have no idea what to do.

Having my own money is something I’ve always wanted since I was a kid. Hated having to ask for things, wanted to get them myself. This feeling of powerlessness, not being able to do things by myself. But well, my parents set up a business just for me, so maybe I should stop complaining. One of my bad points is that I’m very impatient. I can’t wait for things to happen, I want them now. And I want to stop being like that. A stable income and a good life is everything I want.

I’ve never liked money, to be honest. Having to depend on it to survive and life comfortably is something I never want to accept. But I have to tolerate it, or else I won’t be able to live. But well, I’m going the right way. Just need a bit more patience.

I spent the whole day at home today. I didn’t go to my shift because there wasn’t anything to do. You guys know how I feel when I don’t have anything to do if you’ve read my previous posts. I always wanted to do something substantial with my life, besides studying and being sedentary. I needed to get real and work on myself. Anxiousness is what I feel when I think about my future.

That is all for today. Thank you for taking your time to read this, hope you’re having or had a great day. Bye bye.

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